Monty Python Set Spoiler List Set created on 6/26/02 1:57 PM using Oliver Weikopf's MtG Editor (Released Feb 5, 2003) Spoiler List created on 2/5/03 1:25 PM 143 Cards Total Color: 21 White, 21 Blue, 21 Black, 21 Red, 21 Green, 21 Multi, 4 Land, 13 Artifact Rarity: 55 Common, 44 Uncommon, 44 Rare Card Type: 81 Creature, 8 Sorcery, 24 Instant, 3 Artifact Creature, 3 Legendary Land, 4 Legendary Artifact, 11 Enchantment, 1 Enchant Creature, 6 Artifact, 1 Land, 1 Enchant Land Card Name: Hermit Card Color: G Mana Cost: GG Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Pow/Tou: 0/1 Card Text: GG: Target creature blocks Hermit this turn if able. G: Regenerate Hermit. Flavor Text: "That's my Juniper bush!" Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 1/143 Card Name: Black Knight Card Color: B Mana Cost: 1BB Type & Class: Creature - Knight Pow/Tou: 0/2 Card Text: Black Knight comes into play with four +1/+0 counters. Whenever Black Knight would be dealt combat damage, prevent that damage and remove a +1/+0 counter from Black Knight. Black Knight cannot block. Flavor Text: "Just a flesh wound." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 2/143 Card Name: The Black Beast of Arrgh! Card Color: B Mana Cost: BBB Type & Class: Creature - Beast Legend Pow/Tou: 5/5 Card Text: Trample. Haste. When The Black Beast of Arrgh! comes into play, tap all other creatures. Any player may Sacrifice a creature with power 1 or less to destroy The Black Beast of Arrgh!! Flavor Text: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 3/143 Card Name: A Blessing from the Lord Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1WW Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Take control of all non-creature artifacts target opponent controls. Flavor Text: Arthur, this is the Holy Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur: The Quest for the Holy Grail. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 4/143 Card Name: Loretta Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1WW Type & Class: Creature - Rebel Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Protection from black and red. When you play Loretta and Stan is in play, Stan is removed from game entirely and Loretta gets one +1/+1-counter. Flavor Text: "But... you can't have babies." "Don't you oppress me." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 5/143 Card Name: Stan Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1WW Type & Class: Creature - Rebel Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Protection from creatures. When you play Stan and Loretta is in play, Loretta is removed from game entirely and Stan gets one +1/+1-counter. Flavor Text: "I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 6/143 Card Name: You Lucky, Lucky Bastards Card Color: Z Mana Cost: BR Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Destroy target nonblack, nonred creature. It can't be regenerated. If the creature is white, you gain 5 life. Flavor Text: "What will they do to me?" "Oh, you'll probably get away with crucifixion" Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 7/143 Card Name: The Knights who say Ni Card Color: Z Mana Cost: 3RG Type & Class: Creature - Knight Pow/Tou: 5/3 Card Text: When The Knights who say Ni come into play, any player may give you control of a shrubbery. If someone does, sacrifice The Knights who say Ni. Otherwise, target player sacrifices an enchantment and an artifact. Flavor Text: "O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery." - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 8/143 Card Name: Brave Sir Robin Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2WW Type & Class: Creature - Knight Legend Pow/Tou: 1/4 Card Text: When a creature with power greater than 3 comes into play, return Brave Sir Robin to his owner's hand. T: Destroy target creature with power greater than 3. Flavor Text: Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 9/143 Card Name: Trojan Bunny Card Color: X Mana Cost: 3 Type & Class: Artifact Creature - Rabbit Pow/Tou: 0/3 Card Text: 2,T: Target creature becomes unblockable until end of turn. Target opponent gains control of Trojan Bunny. Flavor Text: "Who leaps out?" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 10/143 Card Name: Mr. Creosote Card Color: R Mana Cost: 1RR Type & Class: Creature - Legend Pow/Tou: 0/1 Card Text: T: Put one +1/+1 counter on Mr. Creosote. If Mr. Creosote's power is above 4, sacrifice Mr. Creosote and destroy all creatures. they cannot be regenerated. Flavor Text: "Another bucket for monsieur,... and perhaps a hose" Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 11/143 Card Name: Tim, The Sorcerer Card Color: U Mana Cost: UUU Type & Class: Creature - Wizard Legend Pow/Tou: 3/3 Card Text: X, T: Tim, The Sorcerer deals X damage to target creature or player. Only red mana may be spent this way. Flavor Text: "What an eccentric performance." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 12/143 Card Name: Castle Anthrax Card Color: Mana Cost: Type & Class: Legendary Land Pow/Tou: Card Text: If you control no artifacts, sacrifice Castle Anthrax. T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. Flavor Text: "We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us!" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 13/143 Card Name: Angry Mob Card Color: R Mana Cost: RR Type & Class: Creature - Townsfolk Pow/Tou: 4/2 Card Text: Haste. Trample. When Angry Mob comes into play, it deals 4 damage to target creature you control. Flavor Text: "We have found a witch. May we burn her?" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 14/143 Card Name: God Card Color: W Mana Cost: WWW Type & Class: Creature - Lord Legend Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: Flying. Trample. Protection from all colors. God cannot be the target of spells or abilities. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to God. Flavor Text: "And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 15/143 Card Name: The Rabbit of Caerbannog Card Color: G Mana Cost: 4GGG Type & Class: Creature - Rabbit Legend Pow/Tou: 10/2 Card Text: First Strike. B, T: Destroy target Knight. Flavor Text: "I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 16/143 Card Name: The Bridge of Death Card Color: X Mana Cost: 3 Type & Class: Legendary Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: 3, T: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, your opponent sacrifices an attacking creature. Otherwise, sacrifice The Bridge of Death. Flavor Text: "Look! There's the old man from scene twenty-four!" - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 17/143 Card Name: The Spanish Inquisition Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2RR Type & Class: Creature - Knight Pow/Tou: 3/1 Card Text: First Strike, Haste. When you successfully cast The Spanish Inquisition, it can't be blocked until end of turn. Flavor Text: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 15 Rarity: U Card #: 18/143 Card Name: Witch Burning Card Color: Z Mana Cost: 1WR Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature unless its owner pays 1 life. If that creature is black, put another -1/-1 counter on it. Flavor Text: "It's a fair cop." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 19/143 Card Name: Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Film Card Color: X Mana Cost: 0 Type & Class: Artifact Creature - Knight Pow/Tou: 0/0 Card Text: Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Film comes into play with a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the number of legendary permanents in play. Flavor Text: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 20/143 Card Name: Perfect Transformation Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1U Type & Class: Enchant Creature Pow/Tou: Card Text: 1: Enchanted creature becomes a creature type of your choice until end of turn. When Perfect Transformation comes into play, Draw a card. Flavor Text: "Moo" Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 21/143 Card Name: Beware of the Rabbit Card Color: B Mana Cost: BB Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Distribute three -1/-1 counters divided as you choose among any number of target creatures. Flavor Text: "Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" - Tim, the Sorcerer Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 22/143 Card Name: French Taunter Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WUR Type & Class: Creature - Frenchman Soldier Pow/Tou: 1/4 Card Text: U: Target creature blocks French Taunter if able. W, T: Target creature can't attack this turn. R, T: Target creature can't block this turn. Flavor Text: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 23/143 Card Name: French Soldiers Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WUR Type & Class: Creature - Frenchman Soldier Pow/Tou: 3/4 Card Text: Put a -1/-1 counter on French Soldiers: Remove target creature from the game if French Soldiers are in play. When French Soldiers leave play, return all creatures to play that were removed this way. Flavor Text: "I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 24/143 Card Name: I'm Not Dead! Card Color: B Mana Cost: 1B Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Return target creature from any graveyard to play. When that creature is dealt damage, remove it from game entirely. Flavor Text: "Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 25/143 Card Name: Brother Maynard Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2W Type & Class: Creature - Cleric Legend Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: T: Search your library for a legendary noncreature Artifact and put it in your hand. Flavor Text: And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats... - The Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verse 9. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 26/143 Card Name: The Holy Grail Card Color: X Mana Cost: 4 Type & Class: Legendary Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: T: If you control Frenchmen, gain control of all legendary cards in play until end of turn. T: Untap target creature. T, Remove The Holy Grail from play: remove all legendary cards from play. Flavor Text: Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 27/143 Card Name: Saved at the Last Minute Card Color: G Mana Cost: G Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Regenerate target creature. If that creature is white, green or red, draw a card. Flavor Text: "You fell out of the Tall Tower, you creep!" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 28/143 Card Name: The Castle Arrgh! Card Color: Mana Cost: Type & Class: Legendary Land Pow/Tou: Card Text: If Frenchmen are in play, sacrifice The Castle Arrgh!. You may choose not to untap The Castle Arrgh!. T: Add 1 to your mana pool. T: Gain control of target artifact as long as The Castle Arrgh! remains tapped. Flavor Text: Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 29/143 Card Name: 16 Ton Weight Card Color: X Mana Cost: 5 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: 1, T: put a pull counter on 16 Ton Weight. X, T, remove X pull counters from 16 Ton Weight: Destroy target creature with Strength equal to X. T: destroy target Arthur Pewtey. Flavor Text: Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: R Card #: 30/143 Card Name: Norwegian Blue Card Color: G Mana Cost: 1G Type & Class: Creature - Bird Pow/Tou: 0/1 Card Text: Flying. T: Norwegian Blue gets +0/+X, where X is equal to the total amount of damage on the stack. Flavor Text: "You stunned him, just as he was waking up! Norwegian Blues stun easily." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 31/143 Card Name: Arthur Pewtey Card Color: W Mana Cost: W Type & Class: Creature - Cuckold Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: Arthur Pewtey's power and toughness can never be increased above 1. T: Remove Arthur Pewtey from combat. Arthur Pewtey deals no combat damage this turn. Flavor Text: "Yes, I'll wait outside shall I? Yes, well that's perhaps the best thing. Yes." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: C Card #: 32/143 Card Name: How Not To Be Seen Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2W Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: WW: Remove target blocking creature you control from combat. It neither deals nor receives combat damage this turn. Flavor Text: In this picture we cannot see Mrs. B.J. Smegma of 13, The Cresent, Belmont. Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 33/143 Card Name: Hell's Grannies Card Color: Z Mana Cost: 1WBB Type & Class: Creature - Old People Pow/Tou: 2/1 Card Text: T: Target attacking creature deals and receives no combat damage this turn. That creature's owner loses 1 life. Flavor Text: "Well, they come up to you, like, and push you - shove you off the pavement, like. There's usually four or five of them." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 8 Rarity: C Card #: 34/143 Card Name: Roger the Shrubber Card Color: G Mana Cost: 3G Type & Class: Creature - Shrubber Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Put a 0/1 green shrubbery token into play that counts as a wall. Flavor Text: "Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is 'Roger the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 35/143 Card Name: Swamp Castle Card Color: Mana Cost: Type & Class: Land Pow/Tou: Card Text: When Swamp Castle comes into play, sacrifice all other lands that can produce black mana. B, T: Add BBB to your mana pool. Flavor Text: "Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 36/143 Card Name: Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Card Color: X Mana Cost: 5 Type & Class: Legendary Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: T: Put a boom counter on the Holy Hand Grenade. When three boom counters are on the Holy Hand Grenade, sacrifice it and it deals 3 damage to target player and all creatures he or she controls. Flavor Text: "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy." - Saint Attila Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 37/143 Card Name: Run Away! Card Color: U Mana Cost: 2UU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Remove target creature you control from combat. Return target creature you own to your hand. Draw a card. Flavor Text: "We'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite." - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 38/143 Card Name: Minstrels Card Color: G Mana Cost: GG Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: G, T: target creature gets +1/+1 and trample until end of turn. Sacrifice Minstrels: all creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "That's... that's, uh... that's enough music for now, lads." - Sir Robin Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 39/143 Card Name: King Arthur Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2WW Type & Class: Creature - Lord Knight Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: All other Knights get +1/+1. T: Target Knight gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!" Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 40/143 Card Name: Camelot Card Color: Mana Cost: Type & Class: Legendary Land Pow/Tou: Card Text: T: Add W to your mana pool. T: All blocking knights get +1/+3 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place." - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 41/143 Card Name: Knights of the Round Table Card Color: W Mana Cost: 3WW Type & Class: Creature - Knight Pow/Tou: 3/5 Card Text: Flavor Text: "We're Knights of the Round Table. Our shows are formidable, But many times we're given rhymes That are quite unsingable. We're opera mad in Camelot. We sing from the diaphragm a lot." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 42/143 Card Name: Ni! Card Color: B Mana Cost: B Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Target creature gets -3/-0 and cannot attack until end of turn. Flavor Text: "If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say... we will say... 'ni'." - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 43/143 Card Name: "Twit of the Year" Contest Card Color: Z Mana Cost: 1WU Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: No spell with more than two words in its name may be played. Flavor Text: "Now they're under starter's orders ... and they're off... Ah no, they're not. No, they didn't realize they were supposed to start." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 44/143 Card Name: Assurance Company Ship Card Color: U Mana Cost: U Type & Class: Creature - Ship Pow/Tou: */* Card Text: Assurance Company Ship has Power and Toughness equal to the number of old persons in play. Flavor Text: And so, the Crimson Permanent Assurance was launched upon the high seas of international finance. Artist: Crimson Permanent Assurance Rarity: U Card #: 45/143 Card Name: Accountancy Pirates Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1U Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: T: Take control of target ship until end of turn. Flavor Text: Adopting, adapting, and improving traditional business practises, the Permanent Assurance puts into motion an audacious and totally unsuspected takeover bid. Artist: Crimson Permanent Assurance Rarity: C Card #: 46/143 Card Name: Rebellious Accountants Card Color: U Mana Cost: U Type & Class: Creature - Old People Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: Flavor Text: Pushed beyond the bounds of decent and reasonable victimisation, the aged retainers take their destiny in their own hands and - mutiny! Artist: Crimson Permanent Assurance Rarity: C Card #: 47/143 Card Name: Bridgekeeper Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1UU Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: 1UU: Flip a coin. If you win, return target attacking creature to its owner's hand. If you lose, return Bridgekeeper to its owner's hand. Flavor Text: "Right. Off you go." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 48/143 Card Name: The Old Man from Scene 24 Card Color: Z Mana Cost: UUB Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Legend Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: B, T: Search your library for an Old Person. Put that card into play. U, T: Tap target Knight. Flavor Text: "...Ha ha ha ha! Heh, hee ha ha hee! Ha hee ha! Ha ha ha ha..." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 49/143 Card Name: Accountancy Shanty Card Color: U Mana Cost: XXU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Put X 1/1 Accountant tokens into play. Treat these tokens als Old Persons. Flavor Text: "It can be manly in insurance. We'll up your premium semi-annually. It's all tax deductible. We're fairly incorruptible, We're sailing on the wide accountancy!" Artist: Crimson Permanent Assurance Rarity: R Card #: 50/143 Card Name: Black Plague Card Color: B Mana Cost: 3BB Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Destroy all creatures with toughness 2 or less that you do not control. Flavor Text: "Must be a king." "Why?" "He hasn't got shit all over him." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 51/143 Card Name: Some Lovely Filth Card Color: G Mana Cost: G Type & Class: Enchant Land Pow/Tou: Card Text: Tap Enchanted Land, sacrifice a permanent: Search your library for a basic land card. Put that card into play tapped. Flavor Text: "Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 52/143 Card Name: A Little Bit of Peril Card Color: R Mana Cost: R Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Flip a coin 3 times. A Little Bit of Peril deals damage equal to the total number of flips you have won to target creature. Flavor Text: "Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?" "No. It's unhealthy." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 53/143 Card Name: Terrible peril Card Color: R Mana Cost: RR Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Flip a coin 6 times. Terrible peril deals damage equal to the total number of flips you have won to target creature. Flavor Text: "Let me go back in there and face the peril." "No, it's too perilous." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 54/143 Card Name: Broken Promise Card Color: U Mana Cost: UU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Counter target creature or artifact spell. Remove that spell from game entirely. Flavor Text: "Promised me the known world, he did. I was to be taken to Rome, House by the Forum. Slaves. Asses' milk. As much gold as I could eat." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 55/143 Card Name: Stoning Card Color: R Mana Cost: 1RR Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Stoning deals damage equal to the number of creatures with strength 2 or less you control divided in any way you choose among any number of target creatures and players. Flavor Text: "Oww! Lay off! We haven't started yet!" Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 56/143 Card Name: Haggler Card Color: R Mana Cost: 3R Type & Class: Creature - Merchant Pow/Tou: 1/3 Card Text: T: Flip a coin for each of two target cards. Gain control of each card for which you win the flip. Target opponent gains control of Haggler. Flavor Text: "My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 57/143 Card Name: Suicide Squad Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2R Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Haste. Sacrifice Suicide Squad: Up to two target creatures can't block this turn. Flavor Text: "That showed 'em, huh?" - Otto, Judean People's Front Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 58/143 Card Name: Blackmail Card Color: B Mana Cost: 2BBB Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: BBB: You gain control of target permanent unless its owner pays 3 life. You may use this ability only when you could play a sorcery, and only once each turn. Flavor Text: "No, no, sir, it's alright, we don't morally censor you, we just want the money." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 18 Rarity: R Card #: 59/143 Card Name: French Scientists Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WUR Type & Class: Creature - Frenchmen Pow/Tou: 3/3 Card Text: T: Put a 1/1 green sheep token with flying into play. Flavor Text: "Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français ... maintenant ... baa-aa, baa-aa... nous avons, dans la tête, le cabin. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 2 Rarity: U Card #: 60/143 Card Name: Nudge Nudge Card Color: U Mana Cost: UU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. Flavor Text: "Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: C Card #: 61/143 Card Name: Something Completely Different Card Color: G Mana Cost: GG Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Reveal a creature card from your hand. Put it into play unless it shares a creature type with any creature in play or in any graveyard or any player reveals a creature from his or her hand that shares a creature type with it. Flavor Text: Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: R Card #: 62/143 Card Name: Wait for it! Card Color: U Mana Cost: 2U Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Counter target spell. Return that spell to its owner's hand instead of the graveyard. Draw a card. Flavor Text: "Cut to the next scene. Right. Director... Wait for it! Director... cut!" Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: C Card #: 63/143 Card Name: Lumberjack Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2G Type & Class: Creature - Lumberjack Pow/Tou: 2/3 Card Text: T: Destroy target tapped artifact. Flavor Text: "The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 9 Rarity: C Card #: 64/143 Card Name: Quest for the Holy Grail Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WUBRG Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: If you control Quest for the Holy Grail and the Holy Grail, and you don't control any other permanents, you win the game. Flavor Text: "Good idea, O Lord!" - King Arthur Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 65/143 Card Name: Intermission Card Color: G Mana Cost: 3G Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Prevent all combat damage dealt by creatures this turn. Activated abilities may not be played this turn. Draw a card. Flavor Text: Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 66/143 Card Name: The Machine that goes "Ping" Card Color: X Mana Cost: 1 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: 1: At end of turn, If target creature is still in play, gain 1 life. If not, sacrifice The Machine that goes "Ping". Use this ability only during any players upkeep, and only once each turn. Flavor Text: "You see? That means your baby is still alive!" Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: U Card #: 67/143 Card Name: The Miracle of Birth Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2GG Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: GGG, tap two untapped creatures you control: Search your library for a creature card with a creature type that both tapped creatures have. Put that creature into play. Flavor Text: "Well, that's when we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy." Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 68/143 Card Name: Live Organ Transplants Card Color: Z Mana Cost: BG Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Move all +1/+1 counters from all creatures in play to target creature. Flavor Text: "Can we have your liver, then?" "Yeah. All right. You talked me into it." Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: C Card #: 69/143 Card Name: The Meaning of Life Card Color: Z Mana Cost: XWWUU Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Return target creature with casting cost X to its owner's hand. Destroy all other creatures in play. They can't be regenerated. Flavor Text: Or, perhaps, we're just one of God's little jokes. Well, ça c'est le 'Meaning of Life'. Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 70/143 Card Name: Threatening Prophet Card Color: U Mana Cost: 2UU Type & Class: Creature - Prophet Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Threatening Prophet deals 1 damage to target creature or player. If that creature is green or red, tap it. Flavor Text: "...For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 71/143 Card Name: PFJ Warriors Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1WW Type & Class: Creature - Rebel Pow/Tou: 2/3 Card Text: W, Sacrifice PFJ Warriors: You gain 3 life. Flavor Text: "All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?" Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 72/143 Card Name: Roman Soldier Card Color: R Mana Cost: 1RR Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Sacrifice Roman Soldier: Roman Soldier deals 2 damage to target player. Sacrifice Roman Soldier: Destroy target artifact. Flavor Text: "I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour." - Pontius Pilate Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 73/143 Card Name: Crucifixion Party Card Color: W Mana Cost: 3W Type & Class: Creature - Citizen Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: During your upkeep, put a crucifixion counter on Crucifixion Party. When there are three or more crucifixion counters on a creature, destroy that creature. T: Move a crucifixion counter from target creature to another target creature. Flavor Text: "Um, it's not my cross. I was, ah, holding it for someone." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 74/143 Card Name: Maitre D' Card Color: G Mana Cost: 1GG Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: G1, T: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature other than Maitre D' that has no more than two +1/+1 counters on it. Flavor Text: "And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint." Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: U Card #: 75/143 Card Name: Cartmaster Card Color: B Mana Cost: 2B Type & Class: Creature - Peasant Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: B, T:Remove target creature in any graveyard from game: Add BBB to your mana pool Flavor Text: "Bring out your dead! Ninepence." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 76/143 Card Name: Nudist Organist Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2WW Type & Class: Creature - Musician Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: Nudist Organist cannot be the target of spells or abilities. All damage dealt to Nudist Organist is reduced to 0. Flavor Text: It sure saves us a lot on the clothing budget. Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 18 Rarity: U Card #: 77/143 Card Name: Fresh Fruit Assault Card Color: Z Mana Cost: BBG Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Target player sacrifices a creature. If he does, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "When you're walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 4 Rarity: R Card #: 78/143 Card Name: Hungarian Phrasebook Card Color: X Mana Cost: 4 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: 2, T: tap target creature an opponent controls. That creature loses all abilities as long as Hungarian Phrasebook remains in play. Flavor Text: "Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: U Card #: 79/143 Card Name: The Funniest Joke in the World Card Color: X Mana Cost: 5 Type & Class: Legendary Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: X, T: destroy all creatures with converted mana cost equal to X. If any player owns more of the creatures destroyed this way than any other player, that player gains control of The Funniest Joke in the World. Flavor Text: "Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 1 Rarity: R Card #: 80/143 Card Name: Llama Card Color: G Mana Cost: GGG Type & Class: Creature - Llama Pow/Tou: 3/2 Card Text: Trample, first strike, islandwalk. G: Regenerate Llama. Flavor Text: The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 9 Rarity: R Card #: 81/143 Card Name: Penguin Invasion Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1UU Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Put a 1/1 blue Penguin token into play with "U, T: Put a copy of this creature into play". Flavor Text: Soon these feathery little hustlers were infiltrating important positions everywhere. Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 38 Rarity: R Card #: 82/143 Card Name: Grateful Soldiers Card Color: R Mana Cost: 1RR Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: G, sacrifice Grateful Soldiers: put one +1/+1 counter on each of three target creatures. U, sacrifice Grateful Soldiers: Draw a card. Flavor Text: "Hang on a tick, sir. We got something else for you as well, sir." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: C Card #: 83/143 Card Name: Sergeant Major Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2RR Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 3/2 Card Text: R, T: Remove target Soldier from game. Return it to play under its owner's control at end of turn. Flavor Text: "Now, today, we're going to do marching up and down the square! That is, unless any of you got anything better to do. " Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 84/143 Card Name: Mr. Death Card Color: B Mana Cost: BBBB Type & Class: Creature - Reaper Pow/Tou: 3/3 Card Text: BBB, T: Destroy target nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated. Flavor Text: "So, you still, uh, reap around here, do you, Mr. Death?" Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 85/143 Card Name: The Comfy Chair Card Color: X Mana Cost: 4 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: You may choose not to untap The Comfy Chair during your untap phase. T: Tap target creature. As long as The Comfy Chair remains tapped, that creature gets -1/+1 and does not untap during its controllers untap step. Flavor Text: "So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 15 Rarity: R Card #: 86/143 Card Name: There Was Much Rejoicing Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WG Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: All creatures you control get +1/+3 until end of turn Flavor Text: In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 87/143 Card Name: Wrath of the Vercotti Brothers Card Color: Z Mana Cost: BR Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Destroy all artifacts you do not control. For each artifact, its owner may pay 2 life. If he or she does, that artifact is not destroyed and you gain 2 life. Flavor Text: "You've got a nice army base here, Colonel. We wouldn't want anything to happen to it." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 8 Rarity: C Card #: 88/143 Card Name: A Famous Historian Card Color: U Mana Cost: UU Type & Class: Creature - Scholar Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: When A Famous Historian comes into play, return target instant from your graveyard to your hand. When A Famous Historian leaves play, discard an instant from your hand or reaveal your hand if you have no instant in your hand. Flavor Text: Picture for Schools, take eight. Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 89/143 Card Name: Killed in Nasty Ways Card Color: B Mana Cost: BBB Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Choose one: Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn or target player sacrifices a creature or destroy target nonblack creature. Flavor Text: His head smashed in and his heart cut out And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off And his pen-- Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: U Card #: 90/143 Card Name: Waitress Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2G Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Put a Spam counter on target creature. Remove a Spam counter from a creature: That creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam..." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: C Card #: 91/143 Card Name: Being-Hit-on-the-Head Lesson Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2R Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: Whenever an activated ability of a creature is used, Being-Hit-on-the-Head Lesson deals 2 damage to that creature. Flavor Text: "No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go 'Waaah'. Try it again." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 29 Rarity: U Card #: 92/143 Card Name: Viking Card Color: R Mana Cost: XRR Type & Class: Creature - Viking Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: Viking comes into play with X spam counters on it. Remove a spam counter from Viking: Viking gets +2/+1 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Lovely Spam, wonderful spam" Artist: Flying Circus Rarity: U Card #: 93/143 Card Name: Showmaster Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1WW Type & Class: Creature - Host Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: WW, T: Tap all creatures with power less than the power of Showmaster. Flavor Text: "Beethoven,.Mozart, Chopin, Liszt, Brahms, Panties ...I'm sorry ... Schumann, Schubert, Mendelssohn and Bach." - Arthur Figgis, host of 'It's the Arts' Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 6 Rarity: U Card #: 94/143 Card Name: Camel Spotter Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2G Type & Class: Creature - Hunter Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: 2: Put a Spotting counter on target creature. Any player may play this ability. At the end of your turn, put a +1/+1 counter on all creatures with the most Spotting counters on them. Flavor Text: "Before that of course I was a Yeti Spotter" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 33 Rarity: U Card #: 95/143 Card Name: Italian Instructor Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2W Type & Class: Creature - Teacher Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: When Italian Instructor comes into play, destroy target enchantment. Flavor Text: "Oh, he shouldn't be saying that, we haven't done comparatives yet." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 1 Rarity: C Card #: 96/143 Card Name: Jailer Card Color: B Mana Cost: 2B Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 2/1 Card Text: T: target creature does not untap during its controller's next untap step. Flavor Text: "Oh, don't worry about him, sir. He's ma... he's m... he's ma... he... he... he's m... m... m... he's m... he's m..." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 97/143 Card Name: Alien Card Color: B Mana Cost: 3BB Type & Class: Creature - Alien Pow/Tou: 4/4 Card Text: Flying. When Alien comes into play, destroy target creature. When Alien leaves play, return that creature into play from its owner's graveyard under its owner's control. Flavor Text: Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: R Card #: 98/143 Card Name: Trusty Servant Card Color: W Mana Cost: W Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: Sacrifice Trusty Servant: Regenerate target white or green creature. Flavor Text: "It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England! I am,... and this is my trusty servant, Patsy." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 99/143 Card Name: Monks Card Color: W Mana Cost: WW Type & Class: Creature - Clerics Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Sacrifice Monks: Gain 3 life Sacrifice Monks: Return all knights put into your graveyard from play this turn to play. Flavor Text: "Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: C Card #: 100/143 Card Name: Minister of Silly Walks Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1UUU Type & Class: Creature - Minister Pow/Tou: 2/3 Card Text: Minister of Silly Walks cannot be the target of spells or abilities, cannot be blocked and cannot attack. T: Minister of Silly Walks may attack during your next turn and does so if able. Flavor Text: "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 14 Rarity: R Card #: 101/143 Card Name: This isn't an Argument! Card Color: U Mana Cost: U Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Counter target spell that targets a spell. Flavor Text: "Oh look, this isn't an argument." "Yes, it is." "No, it isn't. It's just contradiction." "No, it isn't." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 29 Rarity: C Card #: 102/143 Card Name: Sir Launcelot of Camelot Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2WW Type & Class: Creature - Knight Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: First Strike. When Sir Launcelot of Camelot attacks and is blocked, destroy all other creatures. Flavor Text: "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who..." Artist: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rarity: R Card #: 103/143 Card Name: First Bruce Card Color: G Mana Cost: 1G Type & Class: Creature - Bruce Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: T: All Bruces get +1/+1 until end of turn. G: Target creature becomes a Bruce until end of turn in addition to its current creature types. Flavor Text: "I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 104/143 Card Name: Second Bruce Card Color: R Mana Cost: 1R Type & Class: Creature - Bruce Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: T: All Bruces get "T, Sacrifice this Bruce: This Bruce deals damage equal to its power to target creature." until end of turn. R: Target creature becomes a Bruce until end of turn in addition to its current creature types. Flavor Text: "Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you!" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 105/143 Card Name: Third Bruce Card Color: B Mana Cost: 1B Type & Class: Creature - Bruce Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: T: All Bruces get -1/-1 until end of turn. B: Target creature becomes a Bruce until end of turn in addition to its current creature types. Flavor Text: "Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 106/143 Card Name: Fourth Bruce Card Color: W Mana Cost: 1W Type & Class: Creature - Bruce Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: T: All Bruces get protection from red and black until end of turn. W: Target creature becomes a Bruce until end of turn in addition to its current creature types. Flavor Text: "Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 107/143 Card Name: New-Bruce Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1U Type & Class: Creature - Bruce Pow/Tou: 1/1 Card Text: T: Return all Bruces to their owners' hands. U: Target Bruce is no Bruce until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 108/143 Card Name: Guerilla Leader Card Color: R Mana Cost: 3R Type & Class: Creature - Communist Pow/Tou: 3/2 Card Text: Whenever Guerilla Leader is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target creature or player. X, T: Guerilla Leader deals X damage to itself. Flavor Text: "Che Guevara - Coventry City last won the FA Cup in what year?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: R Card #: 109/143 Card Name: Specialist Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2W Type & Class: Creature - Medic Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: When Specialist comes into play, choose a creature type. WW, T: Regenerate target creature that has the chosen type. T: Prevent the next 2 points of damage that would be dealt to target creature that has the chosen type. Flavor Text: Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: C Card #: 110/143 Card Name: Karl Marx Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2RR Type & Class: Creature - Communist Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Take control of target creature that shares no color with a creature you control until end of turn. That creature has Haste until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Question number two: The struggle of class against class is a what struggle?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: R Card #: 111/143 Card Name: Vicious Gang of Keep Left Signs Card Color: X Mana Cost: 3 Type & Class: Artifact Creature - Keep Left Signs Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: T, sacrifice Vicious Gang of Keep Left Signs: Target nonflying creature deals its combat damage to target player instead of you. Flavor Text: "Started off with a nice little idea about grannies attacking young men, but now it's got silly. This man's hair is too long for a vicar too." Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 112/143 Card Name: Daft Soldier Card Color: R Mana Cost: R Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: During you upkeep, flip a coin. If you win the flip, Daft Soldier attacks this turn if able. If you lose the flip, Daft Soldier cannot attack this turn. Flavor Text: Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 1 Rarity: C Card #: 113/143 Card Name: Fatal Seduction Card Color: Z Mana Cost: UUBB Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Take control of target creature until end of turn. Sacrifice that creature at end of turn. Flavor Text: Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: R Card #: 114/143 Card Name: Mad Cook Card Color: B Mana Cost: 4B Type & Class: Creature - Servant Pow/Tou: 4/2 Card Text: B: Target nonblack, nonartifact creature cannot block Mad Cook this turn. Flavor Text: "Oh... it makes me mad... mad!" Artist: And Now for Something... Rarity: U Card #: 115/143 Card Name: Confused Prophet Card Color: W Mana Cost: 2WW Type & Class: Creature - Prophet Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Each player sacrifices an enchantment or an artifact. Flavor Text: "There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 116/143 Card Name: Mud-Covered Prophet Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2GG Type & Class: Creature - Prophet Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: T: Search your library for a creature with power 1 or less and put it into play. Flavor Text: "And the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: R Card #: 117/143 Card Name: Ex-Leper Card Color: B Mana Cost: 3B Type & Class: Creature - Beggar Pow/Tou: 2/1 Card Text: T: Target player loses 1 life. you gain 1 life. Flavor Text: "What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 118/143 Card Name: Romanus Eunt Domus Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1UU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Return all Soldiers to their owners' hands. Draw a card. Flavor Text: "What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romanes they go the house'?" Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 119/143 Card Name: PFJ Raiders Card Color: B Mana Cost: 3B Type & Class: Creature - Rebels Pow/Tou: 3/2 Card Text: Swampwalk. Flavor Text: "Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence. There is a Roman feast later in the evening, so we must move fast, and don't wear your best sandals." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: C Card #: 120/143 Card Name: Pontius Pilate Card Color: R Mana Cost: 3R Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Legend Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: All other red creatures get +1/+1. All other Soldiers get +1/+1. Flavor Text: "Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: R Card #: 121/143 Card Name: Centurion Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2RR Type & Class: Creature - Soldier Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Sacrifice a soldier: All soldiers you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. R, T, Sacrifice a Soldier: All soldiers you control get +2/+2 and Haste until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Watch it! There's still a few crosses left." Artist: Monty Python's Life of Brian Rarity: U Card #: 122/143 Card Name: Man Turns into Scotsman Card Color: Z Mana Cost: UUUG Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Counter target creature spell. Put target creature card from your hand into play. Flavor Text: "And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 7 Rarity: R Card #: 123/143 Card Name: Full Frontal Nudity Card Color: U Mana Cost: U Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: All players play with their hands and the top card of their library revealed. When Full Frontal Nudity leaves play, draw a card. Flavor Text: "I'd like to talk to you tonight about the place of the nude in my bed ... um ... in the history of my bed ... of art, of art, I'm sorry." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 8 Rarity: C Card #: 124/143 Card Name: Thrills and Adventure Card Color: Z Mana Cost: RG Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: At the end of each turn, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature that has been dealt damage this turn. R: Thrills and Adventure deals damage to target creature you control equal to its toughness minus 1. Use this ability only once each turn. Flavor Text: Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 6 Rarity: U Card #: 125/143 Card Name: Homicidal Barber Card Color: B Mana Cost: 2BB Type & Class: Creature - Barber Pow/Tou: 2/1 Card Text: T: Destroy target creature. Any player may pay 2 to counter this ability. Flavor Text: "Oh! Sorry! Was that your ear?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 9 Rarity: U Card #: 126/143 Card Name: "Famous Deaths" Judges Card Color: B Mana Cost: 4B Type & Class: Creature - Judges Pow/Tou: 3/3 Card Text: T: Put a +1/+1 counter on each black creature. Use this ability only when a creature is put in a graveyard from play. Flavor Text: "We are proud to be bringing to you one of the evergreen bucket kickers." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 1 Rarity: U Card #: 127/143 Card Name: The "It's" Man Card Color: G Mana Cost: 3G Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Pow/Tou: 2/3 Card Text: When The "It's" Man comes into play, gain 3 life. Gain 10 life instead if The "It's" Man is the only non-land permanent in play. Flavor Text: "It's..." Artist: Flying Circus Rarity: C Card #: 128/143 Card Name: The Mouse Problem Card Color: G Mana Cost: 2G Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: GG: Target creature becomes a Mouse in addition to its original creature types. GG: Target Mouse gets +1/+1 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "And when did you first notice these... shall we say... tendencies?" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 2 Rarity: U Card #: 129/143 Card Name: Karl Gambolputty de van ... Card Color: G Mana Cost: G Type & Class: Creature - Old Person Pow/Tou: 1/2 Card Text: Flavor Text: "Yes, if I may just cut in on you there, Herr Gambolputty de von Ausfernschplendenschlitter- crasscrenbonfrieddiggerdangledunglebursteinvon- knackerthrasherapplebangerhorowitzticolensic- granderknottyspelltinklegrandlichgrumblemeyer- spelterwasserkürstlichhimbleeisenbahnwagenguten- abendbitteeinenürnburgerbratwustlegerspurtenmit- zweimacheluberhundsfutgumberaberschönendan- kerkalbsfleischmittlerraucher von Hautkopft of Ulm" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 6 Rarity: C Card #: 130/143 Card Name: Gumby Card Color: B Mana Cost: B Type & Class: Creature - Gumby Pow/Tou: 2/1 Card Text: Haste. Fear. Gumby cannot block. 2: Gumby cannot attack this turn. Any player may play this ability. Flavor Text: "I use a body rub called Halitosis to make my breath seem sweet." Artist: Flying Circus Rarity: C Card #: 131/143 Card Name: Killer Sheep Card Color: G Mana Cost: 4GGG Type & Class: Creature - Sheep Pow/Tou: 6/4 Card Text: Trample. RR, T: Killer Sheep deals damage equal to its strength to target creature and to you. Flavor Text: "It's an entirely new strain of sheep, a killer sheep that can not only hold a rifle but is also a first-class shot." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 20 Rarity: R Card #: 132/143 Card Name: Pepperpots Card Color: Z Mana Cost: WG Type & Class: Creature - Pepperpot Pow/Tou: 2/2 Card Text: Sacrifice Pepperpots: Up to three target creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn. Flavor Text: "BURMA!!!" "Why'd you say that?" "I panicked." "Oh." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 133/143 Card Name: Exploding Penguin Card Color: R Mana Cost: R Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Sacrifice a creature you control: Exploding Penguin deals 2 points of damage to each of two target creatures and each player. Flavor Text: "Hello! Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 22 Rarity: C Card #: 134/143 Card Name: The Black Eagle Card Color: Z Mana Cost: UUBB Type & Class: Creature - Ship Legend Pow/Tou: 4/3 Card Text: Sacrifice a creature: Target land becomes an island until end of turn. Sacrifice The Black Eagle: Up to three target creatures get islandwalk until end of turn. Flavor Text: Screenplay by Al R. Schroeder and Wayne Kopit Based on the novel 'The Blue Eagle' by Raphael Sabatini Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 25 Rarity: U Card #: 135/143 Card Name: The Money Programme Card Color: B Mana Cost: 3B Type & Class: Enchantment Pow/Tou: Card Text: Pay 1 life: Each player may draw a card. BB, Pay 1 life: Draw a card. Flavor Text: "Tonight on The Money Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 29 Rarity: R Card #: 136/143 Card Name: Brain Surgery Card Color: B Mana Cost: 1BB Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: Destroy target non-black creature. That creature's owner discards a card from his or her hand. Flavor Text: "Ooh! We forgot the anæsthetic!" Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 32 Rarity: C Card #: 137/143 Card Name: Fighting Each Other Card Color: R Mana Cost: 2RRR Type & Class: Sorcery Pow/Tou: Card Text: All creatures you control get "T: This creature deals damage equal to its strength to target creature." until end of turn. Flavor Text: "Sorry about the mess, sir. We'll try and get it cleared up by the time you get back." Artist: Monty Python's Meaning of Life Rarity: R Card #: 138/143 Card Name: RAF Squadron Leader Card Color: Z Mana Cost: 1BBRR Type & Class: Creature - Pilot Pow/Tou: 3/1 Card Text: Haste. Flying. Whenever RAF Squadron Leader is dealt damage, target player loses life equal to that damage. Flavor Text: "Bunch of monkeys on your ceiling, sir! Grab your egg and fours and let's get the bacon delivered." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 42 Rarity: C Card #: 139/143 Card Name: Confuse-A-Cat Card Color: U Mana Cost: X1UU Type & Class: Instant Pow/Tou: Card Text: Tap X target creatures. Draw a card for each green creature tapped this way.. Flavor Text: "I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 5 Rarity: R Card #: 140/143 Card Name: Mouse Organ Card Color: X Mana Cost: 5 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: When Mouse Organ comes into play, put three green 0/1 Mouse tokens into play. T, sacrifice a mouse: All players sacrifice all creatures with strength equal to the number of mice in play. When Mouse Organ leaves play, sacrifice all mice. Flavor Text: Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 2 Rarity: R Card #: 141/143 Card Name: The Whizzo Quality Assortment Card Color: X Mana Cost: 2 Type & Class: Artifact Pow/Tou: Card Text: T: Treat target creature as though it were just summoned. Flavor Text: If only the general public would take more care when buying its sweeties, they would spend less time having their stomachs pumped and sitting around in public lavatories. Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 6 Rarity: U Card #: 142/143 Card Name: Albatross Card Color: U Mana Cost: 1U Type & Class: Creature - Bird Pow/Tou: 4/4 Card Text: Flying. All creatures have: "T, Pay one life: gain control of Albatross." Flavor Text: "It's a bird, innit. It's a bloody sea bird. It's not any bloody flavour." Artist: Flying Circus, Episode 13 Rarity: U Card #: 143/143